My Daughter is obsessed with 3 things... Dance, gymnastics, and Justin Bieber. And when I say obsessed, I mean... obsessed. She is not the kid who plays soccer or softball. Those things would never interest her. Hockey, to her, is a 'boy sport'. It requires profuse sweating, acne, pushing, spinal injuries.... and bad hair. She likes to go to her brother's hockey games... drink hot chocolate and cheer him on. (I'd be lying if I said she doesn't enjoy running around and flirting with all the boys that are off the ice as well. She's 10 and related to me. I passed that down vaginally, I think. I'll deal with that some other time...) He does the same for her. Just like any other Brother/Sister team... they are supportive of each other's choices. She thinks hockey is dumb... he would never dance. Isn't that why you teach your kids to follow their dreams? It's up to them to decide what makes them happy? Justin Bieber is coming between them more than anything right now, actually. My daughter has a bedroom covered in Biebs pictures, posters, calendars etc... and an ipod full of his music, that she blares regularly. My Son has a sign on his door that says "Jutsin Beebre Is the werst". She hates it. :) He has an ipod full of pictures and videos of his sister... doing various, impressive tricks and dance moves. Just not to Bieber tunes...
Like everyone else, who has given me shit for years, I wasn't completely educated on what I was getting into with the whole Competition Dance thing. I just knew that it had to be better than rec dance. She started with rec, and it was just not the right fit. The recital, albeit cute, was almost embarrassing. There were girls standing there, picking tights out of their crotches, feverishly looking for Mom and Dad in the audience, and having no clue what steps they were supposed to be doing. It was adorably disastrous. When our girls' "On the Good Ship Lollipop" was over... out came the competition girls, their same ages. I was blown away by the difference. In fact, you should have seen my jaw drop. They were GOOD! No crotch pickers, and completely on point. They were 5 and 6. What?! That's what I'm talking about. We signed her up the very next week. She had never gone through an audition process before, and it was surprisingly brutal and emotional for her. It made it a bit easier that her best friend was also auditioning... everything is better in a pair. (Another vaginal trait from me, I guess.) :) She made a team, and off we went... into completely foreign territory.
I was not expecting how much it would change her. (Or me... I now know what glue will hold anything imaginable, and the best websites to order bulk feathers and rhinestones... who knew?) Before she was a dancer, she was a bit shy. She made friends easily, but was shy. All of the sudden, I had this out going, confident, hard working little girl... who was passionate and proud about something! Something she chose to do, and was really enjoying! She isn't the world's best dancer. She will never be the winner of "So You Think You Can Dance"... but she loves it. Passionately. It makes her happy. The competitions, themselves, were a lot less 'competitive' than I thought they would be too. All of the girls... from all of the schools... cheer each other on, and genuinely enjoy seeing really good dances. Regardless from which studio they originated. It's a sense of camaraderie that you don't see very often. Same goes for the 'Dance Moms'. We pass each other in the hall, and even though we have never met... we know exactly what each other are going through. I know you spent 7 hours stoning that costume. I know you know... I did too. I know, that you know, that makeup on a 10 year old is incessantly judged... and Jimmy cracks corn. We also both know that, the minute our kid gets on that stage, and the music starts... we hold our breath, get goose bumps... and cry a little bit. (And dig in our purses... so nobody sees it...) We are proud. And there is nothing better than that feeling. Being proud of your kid. They work hard all year, and give up their friends' birthday parties, and school carnivals... to perfect their dances. The level of pride that they, as dancers, feel, is even too much for this sappy Mom to handle! :) The intense energy at awards is a feeling all its own, as well. Getting the ever coveted 'Platinum' for a dance... is just what the doctor ordered for these girls... who are pooped out after along day... and want to be recognized for their efforts. It's exciting. For all of us who invested.
I'm not saying that every little girl should dance. It isn't the right thing for a lot of families. And I understand people's concern when I post a picture to facebook, of my kid, wearing makeup and booty shorts. I'm clearly pimping her out. (?) I just don't understand the judgement factor. Her teammates are some of her best friends. They all go to other schools, and come from different cities. When she has had a bad day at school... she can go to dance, whine to one of her dance girlfriends, get a whole bunch of "Who cares. You are AWESOME"s, and all is forgotten. They are so supportive to each other. It's touching, actually. Nobody else understands what they do. They hear (And read on facebook) the rude comments about their costumes, and what their faces and hair look like. It is digested by them. My Daughter has asked me on several occasions if people think it's wrong that she dances. That kind of sucks a little bit. She is proud of what she does, and it isn't fair to have to suck that up when you are 10. She wears more than any swimmer... or... wrestler does. :)
Dance, among other things, has taught her confidence, discipline and friendship. She could get up in front of a room full of people... and speak. That is more than I can say for many adults I know. She knows what it is like to win... and lose. She handles disappointment better than I do. She doesn't have body issues... there are all sorts of body types on her team... and they are all normal to her. I think it has been one of the best decisions we have ever made. It will keep her out of trouble too... which, when you are coming from my and my Husband's stock... is never a bad thing. :) She gets to spend Friday nights with her Daddy... doing Dads and Daughters. (He finally caved... when all she wanted for Christmas was to do just that...) That has been amazing for them. They are best friends... and I love it! As long as she continues to look forward to dance, I will continue to support her. How could I not? Every minute of her time is spent tapping in the kitchen, flipping in the hallway and yard, doing open turns in the basement, and making up dances to the Biebs' songs. :) It's cute.
Lastly... will the real dance moms please stand up? :) I, personally, have also gotten a lot out of her dance. I got the moms. These women have been so much a part of my life, I can't tell you how much they have impacted us. There is a bond with us as well. We work together all year, put up with judgmental family and friends, spend countless hours planning and stoning costumes, shoes and organizing outings. We lean on each other for advice and encouragement, and sneak wine into the dressing rooms... in case one of us needs it. :) When my Son got hit by a car on his bike last Fall... the first 5 people who called, stopped by, and dropped off survival goodies... were all Dance Moms. That is what we do for each other. They picked up and dropped off my daughter for dance for 2 weeks. They made my son cards and sent get well wishes. It meant so much. When my Mother In Law was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last Summer... I got countless emails and calls making sure we didn't need anything, and checking on her progress. These women are some of the coolest women I know. We know what is going on in each others families. We travel together, and I see them more than anyone else for 3 months straight. I have girlfriends... but having the Dance Moms is an added bonus. Some of them will be life long friends of mine. Same goes for our Daughters.
So, I guess... next time you watch "Dance Moms" and think that is real... or you think that I'm weird for letting my kid wear makeup, or a costume you think is inappropriate, etc... just remember... I am proud of her, and I think she is amazing at what she does. And another reminder... next time there is a swimming meet or wrestling match in your area... watch out for surprise boners! :) Tee hee!!
Sincerely,
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